New Myzery Interview by Hodge

email GlenBurnie MD 06/04/04
Myzery is the bomb yall
MYZERY, R.O.C., MIKE E. CLARK, LAVEL, AND MANY MORE ALBUMS JUST ADDED TO THE M500 STORE…
Sup ninjas. The M500 webstore just added several rare albums to the inventory. For everyone who emails me about getting MZYERY albums, we got em! Not only do we have MYZERY’s Psychopathic debut album “Para La Isla- featuring ICP”, but for the first time available online we have MYZERY’s controversial “Bad Influence” album. This album even has a few songs which clear up several MYZERY rumors like- the GOTJ fight with TWIZTID, his departure in the RYDAS, Choko’s rumors and much more. That’s just the tip of the ice burg! Also new to the M500 store are 2 albums from ICP’s original Producer MIKE E. CLARK. We’re also bringing you THE R.O.C.’s last 3 projects. If your not familiar who R.O.C.(aka SOL46) is, he was an original member of TWIZTID’s first group the HOUSE OF KRAZEES. A detroit legend. You may have witnessed him on TWIZTID’s last tour or heard him on TWIZTID’s 2003 Hallowicked or X-mas track. If you want to hear more of THE R.O.C., we’ve got his last solo album “Wormholes” for sale. We also have cds from his 2 latest group efforts- HALFBREED and LEVEL JUMPERS. It gets even better killaz. We’ve also just added 3 LAVEL aka Mr. Realist cds as well. Yeah LAVEL was ABK’s old partner in his KRAZY KLAN group. You’ve probobally also seen LAVEL on tours with TWIZTID and BLAZE. His “Nutty” album features and amazing track with ESHAM, MASTAMIND, and production by MIKE E. CLARK and THE R.O.C. Also, for any ABK collectors out there you might wanna snag LAVEL’s “66 Realist” album. It features ABK on 2 rare tracks. There you have it. Good shit, but it’ll go fast. Click here to check out the cd’s.
MAD MAN PONDO AND SABU TO APPEAR AT AN UPCOMING WRESTLING SHOW IN NY…
Our Backyard wrestling homies and longtime Juggassociates MAD MAN PONDO and SABU will both be appearing on the 6/19 USA Pro Wrestling show in Franklin Square NY. MAD MAN PONDO will be taking on Louie Ramos in a Hardcore match! For those of you who have seen PONDO “live” on a JCW tour or at the GOTJ, than you already know how violent and bloody this fucker will get. If you’re not familiar with PONDO’s work just look at the cover of ICP’s “Strangle Mania 2″ cover. That should just about sum him up right there. Also on the show will be former ECW and JCW champion SABU! SABU will be taking on a member of the Legendary Hart wrestling family- Teddy Hart. These are 2 of the most suicidal risk takers out there. This match should steal the show for sure. Also on the card that night are wrestling stars- Raven, D-Lo Brown, Justin Credible, Balls Mahoney, Chris Candido and many more.
RECENT VAMPIRO RESULTS FROM AROUND THE GLOBE…
Our former JCW Champion and International Juggalo wrestling Superstar- VAMPIRO has been a very busy man these days. A few weeks back he Main Evented in a 6 Man Tag match at the Arena Mexico. The match was VAMPIRO/Tarzan Boy/Pierroth Jr vs. Shocker/Hijo Del Lizmark/Negro Casas. This was your average Lucha style 6 Man Tag match with all kinds of hot tags, high spots, and ligtning quick manuevers. Towards the end of the match VAMPIRO was tagged in and cleared house on all opponents. A few moves later and VAMPIRO claimed the victory over Shockers team with a picture perfect “Nail in the Coffin” finisher. After the match VAMPIRO challenged Shocker to a rematch for his NWA Light Heavyweight Title. The follwing week VAMP was involved in another big 6-Man Tag/Main Event bout. The match was VAMPIRO/Tarzan Boy/Pierroth Jr. vs. Shocker/Negro Casas/Perro Aguayo Jr. During the match VAMP’s partner Tarzan Boy hit Perro Jr. in the face with the wooden ring entrance stairs. Perro was hurt bad and had to be stretchered out of the arena. This caught both teams a lil bit off gaurd. Pierroth Jr. lost focus during the stair incident and ended up getting caught up in a double team attack by Shocker and Negro. A few moments later Shocker rolled up Pierroth for the 3 count. Will Shocker still grant VAMPIRO his rematch for the title? I’ll keep ya posted.
MAD MAN PONDO’S RECENT IWA RESULTS…
Our GOTJ wrestling school instructor MAD MAN PONDO was recently involved in an extremely bloody match with fellow JCW star Corporal Robinson at IWA’s big show from Oolitic IN. The match was a special “No Rope Barbed Wire” bout. These guys are 2 of the most violent, ruthless, and hardcore wrestlers on the independent scene today. This match was insane to say the least! Both men bled all over the ring…and outside the ring as well. Towards the end of the match both men looked like shark attack victims. Shit was crazy! MAD MAN PONDO ended up wearing down Robinson just enough to squeek out a narrow pinfall. What a bloodbath!
ESHAM’S RAREST COLLABORATION HAS FINALLY SURFACED ON THE NET…
The greatest ESHAM/NATAS/RLP fansite ever- www.acidrap.com has finally tracked down the rarest ESHAM collab ever. Remeber months back when I told you killionaires about a ultra rare Preacher Man Featuring ESHAM track called “Jesus”. Well, the song has now surfaced in the “Purgatory” forrum at acidrap.com. Remember, I said it was a Rare track…not a great track. In fact I think it’s my least favorite ESHAM track I’ve ever heard…and I have all his albums, guest appearences, etc. I just don’t dig this song. Still, for all us ESHAM/NATAS collectors out there it’s still nice to finally be able to DL this song. Well, that’s about all for now ninjas. Until next time, peace and MCL!!!

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I Like Eddie and Dark Lotus by Kae

May 21st, 2004 Trashadena, CA EMAIL
Im Smokeing rolled up Camel Cig tabaco mixed with cat nip Ok ya’ll. Now what I’ve been up for the past couple weeks have been unreal. Thus, if I want that Don Status, it’s gotta be done. Starting from last week, the digi cam has been ringing off shots all the way to til’ this past Tuesday for the Dark Lotus tour here in Hollywood.

Insane Clown Posse Live at E3
First let me start by again sayin a Big WAZZZUP and a thank you to my homies at Changoland.com for makin E3 a fun shxt-talkin, kaos raising event. Thank for the hook up ya’ll. For the three days for E3, I managed to escape with over 500 pictures, as well as over a 100 Pictures of Insane Clown Posse. Media Passes are the Bomb Squad man. Big Props to Mr. Kevin Gill of Eidos for hook it up with perfect opportunities for photos and giving Milenko 500 the Exclusive. Kevin Gill is the developer and designer for the Backyard Wrestling video games. This year at E3, The demo of the new Backyard Wrestling 2: There Goes The Neighborhood was on display and players/levels that were created were there for everyone to play. This little portion of my update is just a teaser. I have sorting I need to get done and I shall drop the big Electronics Entertainment Expo update. Couple more days ninjas!

Jessica Simpson, N.E.R.D., Outkast, Black Eyed Pea‘s, Janet JackasonFather and Son
The Saturday following E3, Mr. E Love and myself ninjaed out way into Wango Tango. For those of you who arent firmilar with this, its a big ass concert that a local radio station puts on. The Rose Bowl here in Trashadena is filled to capacity with underagers and 6 dollar beers! Whats worst than having two ninjas who dont belong at an event like this? ANSWER: Two ninjas who dont belong at an event like that with backstage passes. Tee hee hee. Awesome Eh? Groups such as Black Eye Peas, N.E.R.D, and Outkast performed. Acts such as M500 Personal favorite, Hilary Duff, Janet Wackson (She had a bull shxt performence that sucked), Jugalinkos favorite Rapper Nick Cannon, and Enrique Iglesias performed as well.

Dark Lotus at HOUSE OF BLUES on the SUNSET STRIP in HOLLYWOOD
Wango Tango was cool but compared to Dark Lotus on Tuesday, it was shxt! Now I dont know how much ninjas managed to get their cameras in, but yours truely got his digi cam in. All pictures below were taken in super stealth ninja mode. Big ass banana security threw out anyone they caught taking pictures. Psychopathic Events are a great time to see all our old and new friends as well as act the fool. Roy, Clown E Love, my security D, and myself hung out all night. We managed to make it inside for Layzie Bone who put on a fxckin awesome show mixing up old Bone Thugs songs with some of his new flavor. Shortly after, Dark Lotus put it down in the jam packed House of Blues. Much Props to M500 great Ry Ry 2 Slow for all this hard work on this tour.

Now. This was just post 1 of 2. The next post in a couple days will be the exlusive M500 Media Report from E3. Again thank you to my homies at Changoland for everything. For now, thats all i have. Take care everyone. C you in a couple days! MMFCL!
FMTB is an event on fear factor

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Dark Lotus Concert by Clown E Love

May 19th 2004 Hollywood, CA Email Me
Girls love it when you tell them they suck a good dick Aftermath of Lotus
*checks for pulse* What up juggalos. Its now the day after the Lotus show and im still recovering. What up to all the homies i saw there, Bugley, Michelle, Jesse, Eric, Kurt, Jeanette, Old man Beso, PsychoPatrick..etc… yall are the shit. Im telling you juggalos who havent been to the show or are going soon. You dont wanna MISS IT! It was fucking devastating. Im dead tired though seeing as i didnt get home till about 4am and had to wake up 3 hours later for work. Oh well it was worth it. Kae Lo the “Don in Training” is gonna drop a full review with pics on here so look for that shortly. I jes wanted to get up on here and say the show was off the chain and I highly recommend pulling any ninja tactics to be able to go! MMFCL ninjaz!……LOTUUUUSSSSSSSS!!

Pics Sent in By m500 Homie Lou Diesel

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H.I.M. by SKS Power Boy

San Luis Obispo, CA May 9th

What I did for the Heartagram: The Stress

whoresOk that header was just to get your attention and nothing more. What’s up fackos and fackettes? Sunday the 2nd you ask? Why yes I’ll tell you about it. Sean “Jugalinko” Browne and I had gotten some grossly overpriced tickets through some of Jug’s connections to see H.I.M. at Slim’s in San Francisco a while back. The tickets were originally thirteen bucks but they sold out in 10 minutes. After paying roughly 10 times the price printed on the ticket itself and having just moved (with all the joyous expenses that brings) I had to put my wallet in an ICU. It was in an Iron Lung and on a morphine/olde english drip and the doctors were only giving it 2 weeks to live but it seems to be recovering nicely now. Send it some flowers or a get well soon card if you get the chance. I’m sure my billfold would appreciate it. Anywho, I had to do the books for three service stations Sunday morning so I made plans to just meet Jugalinko in S.F. so he wouldn’t have to wait around for me. Saturday the 1st I was all amped up which equated to me staying up WAY TOO late and drinking (and contrary to popular opinion it wasn’t the 211, i.e. vomit fuel) till I had an extra chromosome. Hence, I woke up late. So after hauling ass around San Luis Obispo I got the books done and was on my way down the south-bound 101 to drop my station keys off for the General Manager. On my way there my front driver-side tire started wobbling all to hell. When I got to where I was going to leave my keys I realized the tread was splitting off from the rest of the tire. One quick phone call and I was soon jetting up to S.F. in my Mom’s purple Toyota Corolla. Wave the rainbow flag in pride y’all. The last thing my Mom said to me was, “…And no smoking in my car.” Like the good son I am I waited until I was out of the city until I lit up my first of many cigs.

The Arrival

I met up with Jugalinko in Santa Cruz (why we met up there I have no clue- yes I’m a little bitter) and after a few cocktails we mobbed on over to Slim’s in Jug’s Tahoe with his newly enhanced “stereo” system. Outside the club I saw exactly what I had been expecting. Guys and chicks wearing either trucker hats, Element shirts, heartagram wristbands or basically goth’d the fuck out (btw- anyone who has a clue knows I have a place quite close to my heart and penis for goth chicks). The club was packed with more of the same.
drummer onstage with a viva la bam shirt on

“It was worth every fuckin’ penny”

DRUNK AS HELL N NOT STOPINEighteen Visions were on the stage when we got inside. They weren’t bad but it was all stuff I’d heard a million other bands play before. M500 posse upI wouldn’t refuse to see them again just as I wouldn’t go out of my way to watch an eighteen vision show. Six or Seven rum and cokes later (all of which Jugalinko paid for- “he bought the rum”) and what seemed like hours of watching H.I.M. roadies setting up, Linde, Mige, Gas, Burton and then Ville came out to kick our asses. One look at Valo and I thought he was gonna be too fucked up to sing. He had a defiant swerve to his movements and glassy eyes. After opening up with “Buried Alive by Love” and Ville belting out the first few lines my fears were removed. Removed sensually. Har har. H.I.M. is just as good as their albums live if not better. They played songs off of each of their albums so there was a good variety between their heavier stuff and their “sissy” material. By the way I don’t know what was up with my expression in the pics from inside Slim’s. I was expressionless. I blame the rum and cokes. Oh, and the black haired girl in front of me in that one pic…I wanted to maul her. I might or might not be typing this part one handed. Wink Wink. Ok, I’m not cause I’m using the company computer and they have a key-logger. Hi Jim and Bob.

The Next Day or “Where I Hid The Body”

I don’t remember much after the show because Jugalinko and I started blazing on the way back to fuck knows where (can you tell I don’t know Nor Cal that well?). The next solid memory I can recall was getting up fairly early (Chaser is the shit) and getting ready to go fishing out on the bayou. I hadn’t been out on Sean’s boat yet so he gave me the entire treatment. Such as trying to kill me, drown me and otherwise fuck my body up. Beyond that it was fun. We didn’t catch shit but I still had fun sipping on icy cold beers and casting a like a retarded chimp on crack. In fact my first cast I broke the line and launched a lure and some weights into the unknown briny depths of the Delta. Score one for the SKS. Woo Woo.

Dammit, I gotta do actual work on this computer so I’mma sign off for now. But if you just skimmed what my update here’s the important points. #1 H.I.M. rocks and you should go see them. #2 I went drinking and boating and fucked up one of Jugalinko’s lures. #3 Jugalinko is a big baller. SKS is living hand to mouth right now. MMFCL and I’ll see ya’lls later. PEACE!!!
vallo from HIM
HIM TRAX
“Pretending.mp3″
“Rebel Yell.mp3″
“Dont Feer the Reeper.mp3″

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SKS Drinks too much? by sks



San Luis Obispo, CA April 28th
I should be at work right now but I decided to sneak off and do this update so it’ll be short and too the point.

Happy Birthday

Violent J turned 32 today. Happy Birthday J. Speaking of birthdays I turned 28 this past weekend. Coincidence? I think not. Har har.

BYW 2

The website for Backyard Wrestling: There Goes The Neighborhood has been revamped in anticipation of Backyard Wrestling 2. The ability to play online, a defense system and the in game graphics editor sounds like the game should be vastly improved from it’s predecessor. The sites got info and screenshots so head on over and check that shit out yo.

WTF-Security Issues at the GOTJ-WTF

Bastards. The Portage County Township got $60,000 out of psychopathic last year…I think they’re just trying to see how much they can squeeze out this year. Last year went off SOOOO damn smoothly and I don’t see a reason why it wouldn’t again this year.
Last year, Vigluicci said, the county had to sue promoters to cover the cost of the event to the Portage County Sheriff’s Office. The sheriff’s office spent upwards of $60,000 during the five-day event for traffic control.
Yeah…and they were really necessary too. /Sarcasm. Oh well.
Aight, i gotta run before I get reprimanded for not doing my job. I just moved so i don’t have ready access to a computer that I can use for updates, but I’ll try to work it out so I can toss some flava’ up in this bitch more often. Word. MCL!!!

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Marz Interview by Hodge

email GlenBurnie MD 03/10/04
geeya MARZ/MYZERY CONCERT REVIEW AND UPCOMING SHOW REMINDER…
I know this concert review is a lil overdue, but someone close to me is in the hospital. Needless to say, I’ve been outta town a lot lately. Okay, so onto the MARZ B-More show review. Fuckin Incredible concert! That dude has so much talent it’s mind blowing. Before I get into his nuclear-devastating set, lemme fill you in on the rest of the show.

My boy Skizzy opened first. He’s made his set a duo now with MD rapper Don. Their set was funny as hell cause they had two hillarious Devils trying to seduce a couple of females in the background. Good shit. Then the indy horror bands Rigamortiz and Medula played their sets. I was very impressed with Medula’s performance. If you pay close attention to the words, you can really tell that they’ve put a lot of thought into their wicked lyrics. CLICK HERE FOR MARZ PICS ON MARZ SITE.


Okay, now onto one half of the double Headliners that night- my homies MYZERY(Myzery, Ponch, and Napalm)! Now incase you’re familiar with MYZERY’s former set lists from the GOTJ 2001 or his early touring years with ICP…it’s much more “strictly Hip-Hop” these days. Not as much wicked shit. Phat as hell nonetheless! I’m a huge Underground Hip Hop fan, and MYZERY is about to take the Hip Hop industry by storm. All it takes is the right person to hear his music and “BAM”! He’ll be all over the place. He mostly performed songs from his last two albums- “Red Eye” and “Bad Influence”. For all us hardcore MYZERY fans it was a very significant set because he did a few unreleased Remixes of his songs as well. NAPALM also added a couple songs from his debut “Thirsty” album into the mix. Man, I don’t know if you guys remember MYZERY’s live performance, but he’s got an amazing stage pressence!

Up next was the Original Dark Lotus member himself…MARZ!!! Wow, he’s added so much dope shit to his live shows! Throughout the show he had all kinds of MARZ-TRIBE members tearing up the stage with him. I’m talking BaseBall bat killaz, near naked cop chicks manipulating night sticks, west coast gangsta dancers, and a giant Gorilla-Suit dude. All kinds of crazy stage show stuff going on. As for his song set. MARZ rocked the mic so hard I actually witnessed some “cool-calm-collected” fans transform into “buck-wild-lunatics” before my very eyes.

He performed a ton of songs from his debut album, Gorilla Pimpin, his upcoming mix tape, and even some fresh remixes from his old Ministry days. All of Camp MYZERY joined MARZ and the Tribe on stage for the final song of the night.

From what both parties told me afterwards, this is just the beginning of the MARZ/MYZERY joint shows. All in all it was the best “live” show I’ve witness in a long time…and I go to a lot of concerts. Chi-Town MARZ fans listen up. You can witness him in concert this sunday in Chicago at 602 North. Believe me, you don’t wanna miss it.

RECENT VAMPIRO RESULTS…
My homie VAMPIRO is back busting skulls in Mexico! A few weeks ago he took part in the Main Event 6-Man tag match from the Arena Mexico. The match was VAMPIRO/Shocker/L.A. Par-K vs. Rey Bucanero/Ultimo Guerrero/Black Warrior. The match wasn’t going in VAMP’s favor from the get go. It seemed that he and his teammates couldn’t get along at all. It was a “Best of 3 Falls” bout and after Rey’s team scored the first pin…VAMPIRO’s team walked out on him. This allowed all 3 members of Rey’s team to beat on VAMP. Black Warrior eventually got the pin fall on a lone VAMPIRO. After the match Warrior challenged VAMPIRO for his title the very next week. Of course VAMP accepted. So one week later VAMPIRO is back Main Eventing the Arena Mexico against Black Warrior. The match was for VAMPIRO’s NWA Lt Weight title. After a grueling back and fourth match that took place in and outta the ring…the match came to a No-Contest. VAMPIRO retained his title. Now that VAMP’s done his tour of Japan with Rock Band- Rancid, he’s gonna be snapping necks in rings all over the globe again.
THE RAREST ESHAM SONG OF ALL TIME HAS BEEN PROVEN…
I can remember a few months back reading a message from an ESHAM fan about a rare ESHAM and Street Preacher collab track called “Jesus”. Basically everyone in that message board thought he was just joking. Nothing ever really came of the rumor. Until now. I was over at the internets best ESHAM/NATAS site- www.acidrap.com and came across a thread in the RLP Purgatory about the same mysterious track. Again, no real proof it existed. However, the author of the thread actually posted up a 15 second song clip of Street Preacher’s (featuring ESHAM) track titled “Jesus”. It’s legit. Apparently the guy who owns the disk was told that only 10 copies of the album were ever printed. That’s a Rare ESHAM joint right there. To hear the sample for yourself just head over to www.acidrap.com and search the RLP Purgatory.
RECENT NOSAWA RESULTS…
] Our current JCW Champion- NOSAWA has been turning a lot of heads overseas lately. He was recently involved in a big 6-Man tag match at the Arena Coliseo. The match was NOSAWA/Mazada/Mr. Mexico vs. Angel Azteca/Neutron/Ultimo Vampiro(an original name huh). This match stole the show! All 6 men pulled off some unbelievable high risk moves. The sound of the impact when NOSAWA ninja kicked Angel was so loud that the fans rose to their feet in dis-belief. In the end it was NOSAWA scoring the pin on a unconscious Neutron. I can’t believe WWE hasn’t approached Nosawa about some kind of feud with Tajiri yet. Well, that’s about all for now ninjas. Until next time, peace and MCL!!!

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Black people are funny by Clown E Love

Email Feb. 19th 2004 Los Angeles Ghetto Cali
WHERES THE BEEF?
Whats happening ninjaz?! Today is Friday and although it may be the end of the week, it’s also the very beginning of Black History Month.Being that i share in that heritage as do my fellow M500 updaters (Hodge is from South Africa) im going to share my knowledge and highlight some of the individuals in the entertainment industry who have helped pave the way for the brotha man in show business. Now keep in mind a full ALL OUT PROPS to the brotha man update will be coming shortly from our own Donn Dymond. From what i’ve heard you’re not going to want to miss it……and now a brief history of four pioneers in black entertainment….

M500 Legends of Black Entertainment

It goes without saying that there have been many african american entertainers. Both young and old. But today we celebrate the lives of those that have passed on. Either they have died or their careers have. No matter, they still are remembered to this day and i’ll do my best to summarize their huge accomplishments now.

Whats that Noise?!
BLEEP SOUND
Yes its everyones favorite police officer Michael Winslow. Never has one man based his whole career out of doing the ROBOT and making the appropriate sounds. This diverse actor starred in such monumental roles as “Jones” in Police Academy 1 thru 25. His comedy talents have also graced the silver screen in “Space Balls“. Truly a pioneer in film making. Nowadays Michael spends his time trying to convince people he was the guy from Police Academy. Most dont believe him which only prompts him to “pretend” to shoot you. DA DA DA DA DA DA!

Gettingn too Old for This Shit!
I NEED TO BLOW SOMETHING UP
Oh shit! Is that Danny Glover? Why yes it is. THe Glove has been in numerous films and tv spots. But his most famous would be of course the Lethal Weapon Series. True the buddy cop genre was created and perfected by Eddie Murphy way back in the early 80′s. But with films like Pluto Nash and the Doctor Dolittle 2 i jes couldnt bring myself to update bout how bad Eddie’s gotten. Anyway, by far the best “Weapon” was the last one with Jet Li. Even as old as Danny’s gotten he still tried whoopin some ass on Jet. This shows how dedicated he was to his role. Little known fact. His now famous line about getting old was never originally in the script. He really didnt think he could all that shit. I mean he’s an old ass man, but the director thought it was funny and kept the line in the films anyway. We salute you Mr. Glover.

Butterflies in the Sky
I SHOT A MAN ONCE WITH A PHASER FOR REAL
You old skool juggalos will remember that opening line from Levar Burton‘s first hit tv show….Reading Rainbow. And no im not making that shit up. Way before he was LT. Commander Geordi Laforge (black name) on Star Trek….Levar was reading books to kids with ADHD and giving the low down on what books to read. For real this ninja has down alot of good and no doubt will go down as one of the most influential black actors of our time. I mean come on….homie was Kunta Kintay in Roots. Now if you’ve never seen Roots you owe it to urself to check it out. Its a devastating movie and is always spoofed on the Chappelle show….oh NOW you know what it is huh? These days Levar hits up Star Trek conventions and events as well as starting his one man campaign to stop those idiots in the Neptunes from stealing his STar Trek gimmick. You’ll succeed Levar jes keep trying….but u dont have to take MY word for it.

Elizabeth!!
IM THINKIN ABOUT CLOWN E'S BABY WHUT PIC
Perhaps the greatest comic ever, Redd Foxx. Not just of the black community either. Most of you are far too young to remember this comedic genius. Well back when tv remotes clicked when u pressed the buttons, there was a show called Sanford n Son. Way before In Living Color, way before Mad Tv, Sandford pushed the limit for black comedy on network television. Truly a tv legend his brand of comedy left none safe. Black, white, purple, or even french everyone was fair game. Redd now spends his time getting pissed drunk and heckling people in heaven as he passed away some time ago. Considering he was all of 170 years old when Sanford n Son first aired.

There you have it. Four legendary actors who helped pave the way for todays Dave Chapelles, Chris Tuckers, and every token black guy in every season of the Real World. We at M500 salute you.

Till next time ninjaz…this the OG deadbody lover signing off….like what BABY WHUT!?!

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I will shoot you by Kae

February 21, 2004 Trashadena, CA EMAIL
Fuck ya i gota gun bitch I live in the core of the ghetto Yooooo JuGgaLos and JuGgaleTtes of The World! Its your confused, M500 Rookie Kae back again to say… Hello! Not much has been going down here in the ghettos of trashadena. Over here, we had the Black History Parade in ta Dena. The festivities started at precisely 9 am. Its 12:30 pm right now and i missed it. Im sure it was great. Always is.

As many of you have seen, we here at M500 celebrate Black Hertiage month to the fullest. Just like Clown E said, Its all in good fun and humor. Just like any other proud Minority, I celebrate the month with my cousins with good ol’ fashion BBQ‘s and Kool-Aid. Take a look at Donn Dymonds update one how he put it down for the Heritage. This month is a good reason to get drunk and it leads us into next month, which is Saint Patricks Day. Saint Pattys Day is a good day to put a months worth of Alkie in your system in one day that will last til Easter. Easter equals spring break which is another excuse to get loaded up for a week. So as you can see, Black heritage month is a good month to remember and rejoice the great works of African Americans. It always paves the way for all major drinkin for the next couple months!

For those of you who have been hiding in a bush, the Gathering of the Juggalos 2004 is right around the corner. Tickets go on sale real soon so make sure you get those Lemonade Stands up and start selling them cups of sour goodness! Be good and Represent! Love ya’ll! MMMCL! This be your homie Kae-Lo signing Out!!!!! Im off to listen to my Rick James Cassettes…

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Loony bin Tour by SKS


San Luis Obispo, CA January 27th
i will kill for money
I’ve been working SOOOO DAMMN much lately!!! The worst part about it is that my workload has trippled (and might quadruple soon) and I’m making exactly the same amount. Thanks for nothing stupid salary! If this keeps up much longer I have plans to pack my car full with half empty propane cylanders and Donn Dymond’s homemade m-80′s (mostly used deep fryer lard, chicken bones and kerosine). Then I’ll open up the valves on all of ‘em and ram into a telephone pole at about a 100 mph; cackling up until (and no sooner) I’m partially vaporized so the Medical Examiner can’t differentiate me from shards of poultry skeleton and burnt onion ring bits.

Mastamind + Lavel Show


L.R.D. is putting on the Looney Bin Tour Saturday February 21st at Jamestown Hall in Saginaw, MI.
It’s featuring Lavel and Mastamind (natas). Lavel’s site says there’s more dates soon…I’ll keep you posted though if anymore are added. Looks like they’re gonna have ass load of perforers. If you live in MI or even anywhere near Saginaw you should check it out. If you’re able to go…send me pics and i’ll post ‘em.

King Gordy

Detroit rapper King Gordy has a new video, Nightmares, on MTV.com and you can vote for it on M2′s Hip-Hop countdown. He’s recorded with Prozak and TechN9ne and supposedly (I say supposedly cause I ain’t seen it) Gordy also appeared as the rapper “Big-O” in 8 Mile. You can vote for the video here.

I’ve gotten 4 calls from work while trying to type this so I’m going to end this quick and go “give the babies their bottle” and fix everyones problems. Dammmit. Until next time…MCL and PEACE!!!

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Life in the hood by Jugalinko

Feb 8th 2004 California
30 round glock .40 Ok what up! I just got back from a trip out of town, i got a chance to go 4x4in with my roomate Donn Dymond and homie Mayfield. But i went for a funeral and it was good to chill with my close friends before it. Anyways Donn Dymonds ready to update bout black history month himself here pretty soon. He has alot to say.

I also got a chance to hit up my distributers office. We hung with our PR man Tom Allen, he bought us lunch and we discussed some ill new happenings. He works in the DVD industry and is one of the top guys in his area, responsible for alot of things including the CKY series and Bam Margera‘s work. The pics are On the left my homie Mayfield and Myself out on the Dunes he is only taller by one inch at 6’4″ with that Eric Estrada hair doo, next to that is myself secluded with my t stance, you see then mayfield passed out from a long day of drinking, smoking, 4x4ing and all types of other ill shit, then a pic of myself next to the Ride, then a pic of Tom Allen and last is a pic of the sunset. I tossed a few pics up here in my update for preview But the rest will be in Sir Donn Dymonds Update.


Crack Money Woooooooo!!
Ok my homies/family over at crack money records is having a big ass concert in AZ. I want yall to check out the email i got from Crackalishis.
Yo beeitchez and Beeitcherizztez, Itz dat tyme again. Datz Reeight Mailfare in YO inbox and a fat check in YO mailbox. Incase ya’ll unaware CRACK MONEY is gearing up for another deamn show. What wit tha What what?!?!?!? All yeahz, CRACK MONEY will be performing LIVE and direct March 13th, 2004. Where you ask and wit who? Well datz a damn good question. C-Money will be rawkin sheit at The Club House in beautiful Tempe, AZ wit IHYWYP (I Hate You When Your Pregnant), Rising Conviction, Psychostick, Motaba, and a real special surprise band. Show is all ages and is gonna be some Phunkin Phompton (compton and pheonix mix) mayhem. So don’t be a limp dick and not show, keep going to www.crackmoneyrecords.com for moe info Beeyotch. Now go spend dat check on a lap dance from a fat slut wit a beer gut!!! word

Steve O Interview
Ok now its all set up and confirmed. I will be conducting an interview with Steve O from Jackass around the 15th when he gets back in the country. If you havent seen wild boyz, or any of Steve’s DVDs that we sell your missing out he is a legend. We at milenko500 have been homies with Steve O’s Crew for years now and its now the right time. Anyways were going to have YOU submit questions for that interview. In my next update ill have the email adress and where to send the questions too. Click here for a bio on STEVE O.

ok Beyond all that, we have added the super rare cky box set, the og 4 pack with all 4 uncutt dvds and the cky4 dvd with the Egg and the Beastman and Skeletor scene, that was pulled. OG RARE FLAVOR. Its instock for a super limited time, there going so quick.

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Me and My Life by SKS

San Luis Obispo, CA January 18th

Black Muh Fuckin’ Rain


Holy Shit!!! New Lotus APRIL 6TH!!! VIOLENT J, SHAGGY, MONO, JAMIE, BLAZE AND ABK!!! Fuck the speculation ’bout Twiztid and what this means in regards to them leaving/not leaving… THERE’S GONNA BE A NEW LOTUS ON APRIL 6TH AND A TOUR TO FOLLOW!!! PUT THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT BEYATCH!!! Speaking of which…

Paradox

I got a little flavor for all you mid-west juggalos & juggalettes. Paradox is dropping a new album entitled “How I Lived.” He was on ICP.com’s Phat or Whack and ya’ll voted him as Phat. There’s no official release date as of yet but, there is also gonna be a tour mid 2004 of the midwest states. Lil Reap, iLLi, Nitebreed, and Caxino (she’s purddy) are among the artists slated to be on the tour too. Sons of Thunder (a juggalo christian group) are gonna be on the tour too. Aight, that last sentence alone piqued my curiosity. For more info visit Paradox’s website. I’ll update on this as I get more info.

Quick Stupor Bowl and NFL rambling

Today (1/18/2004) we’ll be seeing who’s going to the Stupor Bowl. My picks are Indianapolis and Philly. Although i wouldn’t mind seeing Carolina go all the way either. As long as New England doesn’t. Mother fuck the Patriots (this is entirely SKS‘s Opinion). Next year is gonna be different though. VIKINGS WILL OWN!!! The only hinderance I see is the questionability of Kleinsasser’s future with Minnesota and the Vikings Special Teams. But, the team is young over all and much improved from last season and can only get better (at least that’s what I tell myself every year).

NEWS n’ What-Have-You

I ain’t done this in a while so I thought I’d drop some more reasons why the World is fucked up and yet worth living in all the same. Officer Shoots Cat Thinking It’s a Mountain Lion. Medical Marijuana Patients Face Life In Prison. Blind Man Kicks Some Ass When Beer Runs Out. Donn Dymond Fucks The Shit Out of Fleshlight
Aight, i’mma play some Enemy Territory, drink a couple more Blasters (Jager Bombs to some of y’all) and turn the fuck in for the night. Much Family Love and Peace.

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